11 OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS SAID BY AND ABOUT DADS
Dads have many jobs within the family unit and one of them is to provide light relief. Here are 11 of the funniest things said by them and about them.
“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” -Jon Stewart“
“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.” -Rodney Dangerfield
“Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.” -Conan O’Brien
“A father carries pictures where his money used to be.” -Steve Martin
“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“We see a McDonald’s. We got so excited. We started chanting, ‘McDonald’s, McDonald’s, McDonald’s!’ And my dad pulled into the drive thru and we started cheering. And then, he ordered one black coffee for himself… and kept driving. My dad is cold-blooded.” -John Mulaney
“I gave my father $100 and said, Buy yourself something that will make your life easier. So he went out and bought a present for my mother.”
- Rita Rudner
“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” -Jerry Seinfeld
“My daughter said, ‘Why are you yelling at us?’ and I said, ‘I’m trying to discipline you!’ And then she looked up at me with her tear-stained eyes and said, ‘This is how you teach children, by making them cry.’ And it was such a clenching reminder — she won not only the argument, but she won life with that statement. I just burst out laughing, and I think they were so surprised that I burst out laughing, that they did too.” -Stephen Colbert
“I’m so ugly. My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.”
Rodney Dangerfield
“His son wants to follow in his footprints.” – Archie Bunker.
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