COMEDY MASTERCLASS: THE TWO RONNIES
Friday nights were big in my house growing up – it meant spaghetti Bolognese and The Two Ronnies. I was too young to get a lot of the saucy humour and wordplay. But it didn’t matter. Dad was laughing, so I was laughing. Looking back, if I didn’t understand a joke, I think I still got a kick out of how it was structured and delivered.
Ronnies Corbett and Barker met in a London bar in the 1960s – where Corbett served drinks between acting jobs. The pair first worked together in 1966, as part of the BBC ensemble cast of The Frost Report, and then 1968, Corbett and Barker followed David Frost to London Weekend Television. The duo’s big break came at the 1970 BAFTA Awards ceremony, when a technical hitch at the London Palladium meant they were forced to fill in with 11 minutes of unscripted comedy, part of which included Barker playing Henry VIII and Corbett ad-libbing as Cardinal Wolsey.
The BBC was so impressed with their performance that they constructed a show around them and the first episode of The Two Ronnies was transmitted on April 10 1971 to more than 20 million viewers. The show would continue for 93 episodes over 16 years. Writers who submitted sketches included Barry Cryer, Andy Hamilton, Spike Milligan, David Renwick, John Sullivan and the Monty Python legends Cleese, Graham Chapman, Michael Palin and Eric Idle. “If you had a sketch, and the Pythons laughed, you knew it was funny,” Idle told Time Out in 2014. “That’s always been the whistle test for us: read it, does it make us laugh? If it does it’s in; if it doesn’t, we sell it to The Two Ronnies.”
In 1979, according The Telegraph, Barker and Corbett moved their families to Sydney for a year to exploit a loophole that allowed them to avoid paying the year’s income tax. Their families lived near each other in apartments overlooking Sydney Harbour and when not working, the Ronnies would play a lot of golf.
The Two Ronnies Christmas Special, broadcast on Christmas Day 1987, was their final show. Barker wanted to retire from television because he was concerned about his health.
Here are 10 of their greatest jokes:
1: On a packed show tonight, we’ll be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who can no longer make ends meet.
2: The perfect crime was committed last night, when thieves broke into Scotland Yard and stole all the toilets. Police say they have absolutely nothing to go on.
3: All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my right hand.
4: After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he’s looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn’t find him, he’s going to use both eyes.
5: (Ronnie Corbett) For some time, my wife’s had this ridiculous idea that I’m playing too much golf. Actually, it came to a head at about 11.30 last night. She suddenly shouted at me: ‘Golf, golf, golf. All you ever think about is bloody golf!’ And I’ll be honest, it frightened the life out of me. I mean, you don’t expect to meet somebody on the 14th green at that time of night.
6: A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
7: (Ronnie Corbett) I was lying in bed with my wife last Sunday morning when she called me by a special pet name, a loving and endearing term. ‘Hey Shorty,’ she said. ‘Would you like to hear the patter of little feet?’ Taken aback, I replied: ‘Yes, I would.’ She said: ‘Good. Run down to the kitchen and get me a glass of water.’
8: There was a fire at the Inland Revenue office in London, but it was put out before any serious good was done.
9: It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men. Laurel and Hardy.
10: We’ll be talking to a car designer who has crossed a Toyota with Quasimodo and came up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame.
Adam Zwar’s memoir, Twelve Summers, is available here