HOW TO GET YOUR DINNER GUESTS TO GO HOME

Thanks for your responses to my post about the house-guest who never left. It was a difficult situation to navigate and, yes, in the end I paid him to leave.

But a few questions came-in on the back of that about the right time for DINNER GUESTS to leave. I always thought it was after the cheese came out. But etiquette expert, Thomas Blaikie actually puts a time on it. He says if you’re invited to dinner on a weeknight, leave at 10.30pm, while on the weekend, you should aim to be out the door by 11.15pm. He also said to avoid night-caps as it will make you lose track of time, and in some cases, even the will to leave. Good to know.

But, the greater point that Mr Blaikie doesn’t address is how you get your dinner guests to go home if they’re still at the table way after 11.15pm and you’re asleep with your eyes open. As usual, Twitter has the answers:

@Myriography – My minister dad would say “we’ll just read a psalm and pray before you leave.” So effective!

@DennydmpDen – Switch the lights & heating off & put on my wedding video!! Never had a problem!!

@jessicalittler1 – My dad once went and put his pyjamas on.

@dsmart_PEteach – Stand and start singing the national anthem.

OK, I think the common thread here is not to give a fuck. Any other (more polite) ideas?