I’m reluctant to get into public spats these days. The nasty back and forth always takes an emotional toll. But I remain a keen observer when they involve other people - particularly, Australians.
I was at the Logies the night Dave Hughes made a joke about Anthony Callea coming out and how it wasn’t a surprise.
Said Hughesy: “What’s next? Guy Sebastian’s going to reveal he’s got curly hair? Shannon Noll’s going to reveal he’s a bogan? Kyle Sandilands is going to reveal he’s a massive dickhead?” Kyle wasn’t happy and bit back saying, “I don't care if I go to jail for three months, that guy needs a punch in the throat. Simple.” That all happened in 2007 and the two radio hosts have since cleared the air.
More recently, Sam Neil said he’d never work with Judy Davis again and, from what I’ve read, Lisa Wilkinson probably feels the same about Karl Stefanovic. But neither of those feuds have come close to the Guy Sebastian-Iggy Azalea hatefest from 2016’s X Factor, where the two singers served as judges.
When asked about the spat, Sebastian said he didn’t like Iggy. “She was awful to me,” he said. “I had stuff on with my kids, she made us all wait for three hours or something, and then lobs up and has attitude. Iggy would walk in and go, ‘My time is my time, whatever, get over it.’”
Iggy responded on Twitter saying: “I want to talk about how Guy Sebastian is a complete liar, let’s get into it! How can you be late for a show that was filmed on LIVE television?”
Sometimes celebrity feuds are disturbing when they involve people you deeply admire. I found myself conflicted when comedians David Mitchell and Steve Coogan had a robust disagreement in 2013.
It started when Mitchell wrote a column saying he opposed proposals that the government regulate the press. Coogan responded calling Mitchell’s argument “ill-informed and superficial dross.” Mitchell clapped back saying that “press freedom is essential for us”. And Coogan doubled down saying: “Wow, you’re really going out on a limb! No one disagrees: it’s like saying you’re anti-cancer.” Mitchell and Coogan have since broken bread, so I no longer need to worry.
Then there are the iconic stand offs, which have been kept alive for decades thanks to the wit and menace involved – like the feud between US literary giants, Gore Vidal and Norman Mailer. After Vidal’s unflattering portrayal of Mailer in his book, The Prisoner of Sex, Mailer headbutted Vidal. And then he headbutted him again six years later in case Vidal had forgotten the earlier headbutt. Vidal responded with the immortal burn: “As usual, words fail him.”
But sometimes the pen is mightier than the headbutt - like the time George Bernard Shaw sent Winston Churchill a letter: “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend. If you have one.” Churchill wrote back: “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second…if there is one.” Ooof!
Finally, there’s this famous rebuke from 1996, which turned up again this week - and, if I’m honest, is the inspiration behind this post. That year, Helena Bonham Carter had given an interview where she said:
And British actress Kathy Burke responded by writing this to Time Out:
And that’s where I’ll end it. Long live the celebrity spat.
As celeb burns go, I love the one about Led Zeppelin manager Peter Grant introducing himself to Bob Dylan at an LA party in the 1970s.
'Hi there, I’m Peter Grant, manager of Led Zeppelin,'
'Fuck man, do I come to you with my problems?'
Nice piece Mr Z. I think as far as Australian celeb feuds go, not much can been a real life, live to air punch-on and I think Ron Casey and Normie Rowe took the biscuit on that one in 1991 during the debate on the republic (God, can you even imagine anyone getting so worked up about the republic now??) on the Midday Show (I think). But in typical Australian fashion, they buried the hatchet to the extent they later did an ad together for coffee or something!