I don’t often pick up calls from numbers I don’t recognise. But I’d got back to Oz after living overseas for a few years and thought some of my friends may have changed numbers. So I was picking up everything.
One day I got a call from Tony who was on the Docks in Melbourne and wanted to know if he should send “the televisions” to Altona or Footscray. I told him he had the wrong number.
A couple of days later, Tony called again. This time he had a bunch of Range Rovers he wanted to know where to send. Again, I said wrong number. But I will say that I liked how he called me “Boss”.
I didn’t hear from Tony for about two weeks before he called on a Wednesday after 9pm. There were no pleasantries. He got straight down to business.
“Hey boss. We’ve got those air-conditioners. Where do you want ‘em? Altona or Footscray. Mikey reckons Footscray.”
I took a beat. This was getting annoying. So I said:
“…take em to Footscray.”
“Right you are.”
A few days later Tony wanted to know where to take a load of tobacco. And I knew enough from last time to say:
“What does Mikey reckon?”
“He reckons Altona.”
“Take it to Altona.”
“Right you are.”
There were a few more cordial exchanges between Tony and I. I knew his grandson was hoping to be drafted in the AFL, but he was worried the kid wasn’t tall enough.
“He’s a fighter,” Tony would say – before adding he’d seen every game the kid had played for the past four years.
I wished him luck. Then, one night Tony called with a massive delivery of olive oil.
“Where does Mikey want it?” I asked.
“Mikey reckons Altona.”
I took a breath. I knew I was about to play with fire.
“Take it to Footscray.”
There was a pause as Tony processed this information.
“’K boss.”
And then, tentatively.
“Right you are.”
Next day I got a text from Tony telling me to pull my head in. And he added it wouldn’t take much to find out where I lived.
No worries, Tony. Right you are. Hope your grandkid makes a lot of money, so you can have a rest from this shit.
The names have been changed in this article to protect myself