THANK YOU CHAPPELLI
Former Australian captain Ian Chappell retired from broadcasting today after 45 years in the commentary box. Apart from his on-field feats, here are 10 scarily frank quotes to remember him by.
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Piers Morgan: “Hi, Mr Chappell, I'm Piers Morgan.”
Ian Chappell: “Nah mate, you're a dickhead.”
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"The other advantage England have got when Phil Tufnell is bowling is that he isn't fielding.”
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The last positive thing England did for cricket was to invent it.
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A Test match is like a painting. A one-day match is like a Rolf Harris painting.
In my day 58 beers between London and Sydney would have virtually classified you as a teetotaller.” Discussing David Boon’s alleged drinking record, 1989.
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“I really get annoyed with this reverse swing term. It’s either an outswinger or an inswinger.”
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On Greg Chappell: “Greg can be a very patient man, much more diplomatic than either his father or his elder brother. However, if you don't want to hear the truth, then don't ask him for a frank opinion. Greg grew up in a household where frank opinions were served up at breakfast more often than cereal and fruit juice.
On Steve Waugh: “But the thing I couldn’t abide with Steve was that he was such a selfish cricketer.When he came out and said this was to be his last season, so he could have the grand tour and get all the accolades and all of that shitt, he called Damien Martyn through for a ridiculous run at the Gabba. Damien should have just stayed where he was and Steve would have been run out by miles. Disgraceful. That’s just a minor example but there are many, many examples. I shouldn’t say he’s the most selfish cricketer I’ve ever seen because he’s not, but he’s certainly the most selfish Australian cricketer I’ve ever seen.”
On Don Bradman: “Bradman lied to me and the other problem I had with him was that because I came from a cricketing family, I knew his history, in that he’d had problems with the Board and some of those problems were over finance. So, I went to Bradman mistakenly thinking there would be empathy there when I was fighting for better pay and conditions for my players. But it was totally the opposite – it was as though I was asking him to spend his own money.”
On Ian Botham: “Botham? I don’t have anything in common with Ian Botham. I thought he was gutless as a cricketer for the little bit that I played against him, of the long-term commentators he’s the worst by so far it doesn’t matter, and I find him a very boring human being. I’ve got no intention of making up with him unless he wants to apologise for making up lies about me. He and the truth have a very distant relationship. I don’t see that one ever repairing; certainly not from my side.”
Adam Zwar’s memoir, Twelve Summers, is available here