There’s quite a market in writers writing about their father’s passing. I had a proper go at it myself. And it helped so much that I thought I’d dealt with the myriad of issues surrounding my Father’s death. But when I re-read comedian Steve Martin’s 2007 piece
Some say that some souls prefer to pass when none of us are around. It is their choice when they go, and we shouldn't feel bad if we're not there ... I lost my partner in Feb, and he passed when no-one was in his room. I'd been with him day and night for the weeks he was in palliative care. On his last day, we knew it was close - 'we' being the palliative doctor, palliative nurse and the pastoral carer, and I. I never left his side. Until the moment I did, popping outside for a breather, and that's when he passed. The doctor, nurse and pastor, who had been coming and going all day, were not in the room either at that moment of passing ... My partner was a quiet and private man who preferred no attention, and I believe he chose his moment. I'm at peace with that :)
Thanks for sharing both pieces, Adam. My father's in his mid-80s, and I live a long flight away from him. You and Steve Martin have reminded me to reach out more often!
In a basketball game, everyone gets excited about a 'buzzer beater'. The last shot of the game. The shot that 'wins' the game - see game 3 of the NBL finals when Jack McVeigh hit a half court shot to 'win' the game.
People who really know basketball, will tell you that it takes 40 minutes of playing time and years (sometimes decades) of preparations to 'win' a game.
Your dad understood that it isn't the last few weeks or the last few minutes of a life, it's the whole life that matters. The people who love you and let you know. You did that and so did your dad.
My dad passed suddenly on the day we were to visit. I didn't get to say goodbye while he was alive, but we both knew we loved each other.
I was lucky enough to have my dad live long enough for him to see his grandsons grow and for us to rediscover each other.
Having lost my gorgeous dad between Xmas and New year(this year). He was also in a care facility and died whilst we were all on holidays at the beautiful beach apartment he bought. This brings a tear to my eye as its still very raw.
That just brought a tear to my eye buddy. Thanks for always putting yourself out there in such a beautiful and open way. 🥹
Some say that some souls prefer to pass when none of us are around. It is their choice when they go, and we shouldn't feel bad if we're not there ... I lost my partner in Feb, and he passed when no-one was in his room. I'd been with him day and night for the weeks he was in palliative care. On his last day, we knew it was close - 'we' being the palliative doctor, palliative nurse and the pastoral carer, and I. I never left his side. Until the moment I did, popping outside for a breather, and that's when he passed. The doctor, nurse and pastor, who had been coming and going all day, were not in the room either at that moment of passing ... My partner was a quiet and private man who preferred no attention, and I believe he chose his moment. I'm at peace with that :)
Thanks for sharing both pieces, Adam. My father's in his mid-80s, and I live a long flight away from him. You and Steve Martin have reminded me to reach out more often!
In a basketball game, everyone gets excited about a 'buzzer beater'. The last shot of the game. The shot that 'wins' the game - see game 3 of the NBL finals when Jack McVeigh hit a half court shot to 'win' the game.
People who really know basketball, will tell you that it takes 40 minutes of playing time and years (sometimes decades) of preparations to 'win' a game.
Your dad understood that it isn't the last few weeks or the last few minutes of a life, it's the whole life that matters. The people who love you and let you know. You did that and so did your dad.
My dad passed suddenly on the day we were to visit. I didn't get to say goodbye while he was alive, but we both knew we loved each other.
I was lucky enough to have my dad live long enough for him to see his grandsons grow and for us to rediscover each other.
Dads don't sweat the small stuff.
You loved him and he loved you.
Trust me, it's hard getting old.
Having lost my gorgeous dad between Xmas and New year(this year). He was also in a care facility and died whilst we were all on holidays at the beautiful beach apartment he bought. This brings a tear to my eye as its still very raw.